Sunday, October 16, 2005

The WSJ Loves Me???

Recently, the Wall Street Journal published an article regarding medical blogging (Republished here). I was surprised to see this blog mentioned. It’s described as “An anonymous medical resident blogs about the often chaotic world of doctors-in-training”. Which got me into thinking, is this really about the chaotic world of doctors in training?

I think it’s more about my perception of this world. It’s about both my personal and professional experiences and the thoughts that they provoke. Everyone’s experience differs and my experience is, by no means, universal.

I began this blog because I love to write. In the beginning, I wrote more personal things. Eventually, I stopped writing this way for various reasons. I began to discuss some relevant medical issues, but let’s face it, this blog is medical in the same way that porn stars are actors, meaning, if you think it is than you’re really not paying attention.

I never wanted to be a physician. In high school I was a brat. So, I was accepted to a city college. I dropped out twice. The first time it was because my father got sick and I needed to help at home and the other because I found nothing that interested me. I rarely studied in college which earned my rightfully deserved Bs and Cs. Actually, I always saw myself as a businessman rather than anything in the medical field. Probably, I would have made a much better malpractice lawyer than a malpracticing physician.

Later, after getting fired from my third salesman position I decided that I would be better off a professional. After returning to college and discovering medicine I took all the pre-med classes in two semesters and applied to medical school. So it was no surprise I was only accepted in Israel, in spite of doing extremely well on the MCAT. In the end, those slacker years (and the GPA they destroyed) returned to bite. So why am I telling this story?

According to the article I am the representation of the common thoughts of “doctors in training”. I really doubt my fellow residents have the same thoughts as I. Many of them grew up wanting only to be doctors. They are more serious, more committed and more devoted to medicine than I can ever be. I constantly question why I entered this field and if it’s the right one for me and it reflects in my writing. At times I write about how happy I was to save a patient or how sad I was to lose one. Sometimes, I hate this field. I can also write about how to kick patients out or how disgusted I am with malpractice litigation and the patients who decide to sue. I run the gambit on dispositions and moods and it often reflects what my experience is at a certain point and time.

Not for one minute do I think that this is a universal experience and neither should you. I make no apologies for what I write simply because I don’t write it for others, I write it for me. It’s my therapy and if it upsets you than don’t read it, it’s there to save me the money I would spend on psychotherapy. God knows I need it.

Don’t misunderstand, I am honored to have been mentioned in the article along with some of the really fine medical bloggers out there. I’m very happy some of you take the time to read through my posts. But please don’t take this to be the thoughts of every doctor in training you meet. It’s really the random, crazy, obnoxious, passionate and personal feelings of a business career gone haywire.