Friday: the Worst thing I ever asked my Intern to do. Poor Intern

Back on the wards and, as my readers know, this means the "Friday 10 Random things I asked my Interns to do today". However, today I asked my intern to do something so infintismally (is that a word?) gruesome that I automatically deferred the other nine for next week.

As we were rounding on our 450 pound man with horrible CHF who can't even get out of his oversized bed he decided to give us the most colossal of complaints (for him). He said "Doc, I'm having the worst pain in my ass that I've ever had". I mean, those words (and their implication) produced substernal chest pain in me to the point of admission. Luckily, I already served my punishment in my first year of residency with my 800 pounder (let me know if you want the full story). So the joy of this complex rectal was all my intern's to do. Do you remember that joke, the one that goes "How many Interns does it take to perform a rectal exam on a bedbound 450 pound man?"

Four! and it is quite a scene.