Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Nasty Week

As you might have noticed I've posted less than usual this last week, or at least nothing I consider substantive. This is because I'm in the midst of a dayfloat rotation. Which is kind of like a night float rotation except during the day (I hate to state the obvious). Tonight the wife and future intern left to Israel for a three week vacation. I'll be joining them next week when I get a much deserved break from the world of chaos I currently occupy. After that it's on to the third year of my residency. It will be my final year of residency but I will post a lot more about this soon enough. I just realized that it may end in me having to change the name of the blog, or possibly, find another Mad House.

While I'm away toiling with write-ups I thought I'd attempt to keep you entertained. This has nothing to do with the theme of this blog except that it's author found it very funny, so he decided to post it here:

"Dear Technical Support:Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity.Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0.
Please help, thanks
A Troubled User"

Dear Troubled User:

Many men upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes dear" to alleviate software augmentation. The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs.Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5.Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0.

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary with Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Good luck User."