Parody of Blog: Episode 5

This week’s Parody features NY Escort. Be forewarned, the writing is quite racy and adult. If you’re game, you probably will enjoy Alexa’s writing, as it’s great. As always, the site is available in the consult section of this blog.

A slow night by definition means it’s quite boring. So hanging out in the Emergency Department of a class one trauma center can sometimes be an entertaining experience. Hang out long enough and something is bound to happen. Tonight, we wouldn’t have to wait long.

Our third admission of the night, Mr. Gomez, was waiting for the intern to come escort him upstairs. He’s been there all day and by now, obviously, quite upset. Finally, at twelve midnight Alexa arrived. She was a new intern. Word quickly got around that the hot new doc on the floor came from some Midwestern med-school and was one of those highly recruited by the Mad House. It was the first time we met her and in she walks, all confident, “Hello” Mad Docs. Hellooooo Indeed!

Awake we were and more wired than a Wallstreet broker. She grabbed the chart off the rack and effortlessly swung open the curtains to reveal Mr. Gomez and his inverted smile, as they quickly shut close behind her.

With the ER now silent we keenly listened to her sultry voice as it echoed from the walls.

“Hi Mr. Gomez, how are you?”
“Not Well”
“Why not Mr. Gomez?”
“I’m couging”
“Oh, we’ll take care of that momentarily but before we do I need you to answer some basic questions. Do you smoke?”
“No”
“Any drugs or alcohol?”
“No”
“Are you sexually active?”
“What does that have to do with anything?”
“Just answer the questions Mr. Gomez”
“No, I’m not”
“Masturbate a lot?”
“What”
“Do you like to lick feet, any other fetishes, anything like that?”
“What?”

Mr. Gomez was confused. So were we. We were quite confused, very intrigued, turned on, but quite confused. The ER became more silent.

“Do you like Golden Showers?”
“What?”
“How about defecating on people during sex?”
“No”
“Raping your wife, anyone else?”
“What the hell are you askin..”
“Just answer the question Mr. Gomez. How about sex with animals, that sort of thing”

We quickly tiptoed closer to the curtain. A mass of tense males with stethoscopes and third legs attempted to remain as quiet as possible so as not to disturb the entertainment.

“No, I don’t have sex with animals”
“How about flashing, do you like to flash people on the street, you know, show them your inner world?”
“Oh god, do you have any more questions”

“No, not really you pervert”

And as the curtains swung open they revealed a crowd of salivating, tense and flabbergasted physicians. Each fighting to catch his breath, armed with the sort of protrusion scrubs don't hide well.

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