Not So Crazy

On my service there is a lady from the local psychiatric hospital. For the last few days she has been driving my intern crazy. Her pager hasn’t stopped and every time that she gets called it’s usually because the patient is throwing some fit in the hallway, yelling at the nurses and the staff. Her (The patient’s) mental capacity is obviously altered due to her frequent hallucinations and so we really can’t be too upset (although we are!).
During the weekend, I am on with only one of my interns, the other one! So today “Big H” (The other intern) gets called for the nutso yelling in the hallway. I decided to take a walk to entertain myself (It was slow).
It seems that she was insisting she be transferred and cursing at the staff. I suggested that instead she should write a note of her complaints on a piece of paper and that I will hand this paper to the hospital management. I figured this would shut her up for a few hours. What came next honestly surprised me.
The following is a list of her complaints: (in her exact words)
1- The smell of shit perculates through the entire hospital. (I usually call this “Eau De Residance”).
2- The food is nasty and tasteless.
3- Patients are ill and depressing.
4- I cannot identify with the staff.
5- My doctor lied for the last 2 days.
6- Staff clerk- told me to go “s--k my d--k!” and pointed to my vagina.
7- I don’t like the me me me stuff.
8- I want to get out of HERE.

The strangest part of it all: I cannot deny that on some level I feel the same.

So who’s the crazy one? Oh, and about that mental status…