Thursday, September 09, 2004

My Retrospect on being the LOWEST rung on the totem pole

I only found Blogger one year into my residency, September 9, 2004, today. One of the main reasons, well, let’s face it, the main reason is because for the past one year I’ve been the lowest form of being in a city hospital, the INTERN, and way too busy to be surfing google. Along the way I’ve learned all the essentials of being a wonderful intern: scut the students, avoid the residents, avoid giving excessive information as it will inevitably lead to more work for ME. In addition, never disrespect the nurses as they run the hospital, have plenty of chocolate in your pocket for bribing tech’s and secretaries, AND don’t ever be shy about bribing the secretaries and techs with chocolate. I’m ready for my second year now. But before I go on (never start a sentence with “but”…yeah I know) I thought I would take some time to look back at some of the wonderful times that happened, usually at 3 in the morning, this past year. Times I will never forget, mostly because they are etched in my mind, along with the wonderful patients that in their innocence and ignorance and well cuteness…made this past year a ride to remember.

I started the year in the CCU (Coronary Care Unit) a frightened little intern only protected from the world by a white coat that says that I know what I’m talking about (Not for sure) and my resident who I now realized didn’t really know too much at that point but sure did pretend to know it. I remember Mr. Weiss, wonderful Ashkenazi Jew and unbelievable stereotypical. I say it as a compliment. Anyways, to the point, Mr. Weiss, an overweight 64 year old man walks 12 blocks through scorching sun to buy 10 bottles of ginger ale. Yes, TEN bottles (each 2 liters) of ginger ale. Because? Waldbaums was having a special of ginger ale at 25 cents a bottle. This is where it begins…but it gets better!

Anyways, as you imagined he carries these 10 bottles through the heat and has this massive heart attack. He then enters a pharmacy and sits in a seat next to the door. The pharmacist growing wise figures out this guy had a heart attack and offers to call EMS. Here’s the twist, Weiss tells him to call his wife instead.
The wife understands what happened and says she will be there soon as she can catch THE BUS!!!! One hour later she finally arrives. The pharmacist offers to call EMS again, however, the wife states that she looks like a MESS and can’t go to the ER looking so schlumpy. You heard right…a MAJOR heart attack.
So they go back home. One hour there…she changes clothing and then, you guessed it, they wait for the bus again and finally head to the hospital. When he arrives we realize he had a major heart attack and he gets admitted to the CCU.